Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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