is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I need water and some morals
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
