literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
