pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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