Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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