do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
