20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
