shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
