I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
