last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
