Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
