is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
