She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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