Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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