this beer tastes like vomit already
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You're a waste of cheezeits
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
