During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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