How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
