So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
