Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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