I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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