yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
