How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
jump out the window naked night went bad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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