just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
