Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
