your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
false alarm. still invincible.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
