what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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