Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
