I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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