ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
