i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
