I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
