dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Boobs speak an international language.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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