Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
