No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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