Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
