i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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