someone threw a dead crab at me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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