my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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