That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
