Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
