My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
