I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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