Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
