and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
