Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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