WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
