I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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