just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
