Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Congratulations! We have a period
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
