i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
